


And now that you don't have to be perfect

by Lizicia



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Snowells, also a segue into 4x09, based on the trailer, basically just a sprinkle of happiness, coda to 4x08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 13:26:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12888843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizicia/pseuds/Lizicia
Summary: One day, Caitlin runs out of reasons.She’s thought her heart couldn’t handle any more, couldn’t possibly be ready to contemplate something new after Ronnie, after Jay, after Julian.But even Killer Frost doesn’t have a slab of ice for heart.Harry’s tinkering away with something in the lab as she enters it, and when he smiles at seeing her, it’s decided.“Do you want to get coffee?”





	And now that you don't have to be perfect

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I'm back with some snowells.  
> Based off that teeny scene for the midseason finale's trailer where it seems that Caitlin and Harry are getting coffee at Jitters. GIMME.

One day, Caitlin runs out of reasons.

She’s thought her heart couldn’t handle any more, couldn’t possibly be ready to contemplate something new after Ronnie, after Jay, after Julian.

But even Killer Frost doesn’t have a slab of ice for heart, and neither does Caitlin Snow.

She’s been so careful with her emotions, trying to control them so she wouldn’t get angry, wouldn’t get scared, wouldn’t let the other her gain dominance when she doesn’t need to. For a while, she thought she should supress all emotions, the bad and the good, just to be on the safe side, to not tempt fate.

If there’s one thing to learn from Barry and Iris’ failed first wedding, it’s that there are no guarantees, there is no fate to determine one’s course of life. 

There is only the present and an unpredictable future, time travel be damned.

Harry’s tinkering away with something in the lab as she enters it, and when he smiles at seeing her, it’s decided.

“Do you want to get coffee?”

His attention is still on his project as he nods. “If you got some, sure.”

“No, I meant – do you want to _get_ coffee, Harry? At Jitters?”

Now, he pauses and looks at her, really looks. She thought it would make her nervous, and vulnerable, and scared and it does but she doesn’t mind it. She’s not frightened of what will come next, despite the swarm of emotions inside.

Harry opens his mouth, then closes it, and the expression on his face reminds her so vividly of the time not so long ago when she told him her piece of mind regarding Jesse’s powers. It’s a mixture of surprise, and confusion, and awe.

Finally, he smiles tentatively. “I would love to, Caitlin.”

“Now?”

His smile gets bigger. “Let’s go.”

The silence that fills their short walk is not uncomfortable, even if Caitlin feels unbalanced and wholly unprepared for what happens next. But Harry’s still smiling to himself, that small, secretive smile so she hasn’t miscalculated that much.

She lets her hand brush against his – a test, a trial, a confirmation of her intent – and he responds, keeping his hand close to hers. So they walk, hands brushing but neither pushing the contact quite yet.

At Jitters, he gets them both coffee and she chooses a table.

He regards her with a long look while taking a sip of his coffee, and clears his throat.

“So.”

“So…” Suddenly, there are no words, there is no plan. It’s just them, sitting in Jitters and Caitlin can feel the fluttering of her heart, the tick of nerves that’s slowly seeping in. What was it about seizing the moment, exactly?

Harry is the one to break the silence, to be braver than her. “You know, I had a plan.”

“A plan for what?”

He smiles, almost wistfully. “To be honest, I have had multiple plans. The first time we really worked together, you truly astounded me with your knowledge, your energy. And I thought I could do this once we figured everything out, once Jay was healthy and back on his Earth. We could have coffee, I suppose.”

Her breath catches for a moment when she realizes when that was and what he’s saying. “I had no idea.”

Harry shakes his head. “No, I know. It probably wasn’t a good time either – I was a doppelganger for someone you hated, you had just lost Ronnie. I could’ve just ruined everything.”

He’s probably right that the timing would’ve been off, that she would’ve been less sure in herself, in the world around her. Still, it warms her to know that it hasn’t been all in her head, to know that she hasn’t miscalculated. A burst of warm affection floods her, and it’s the farthest she’s felt from being angry in quite some time.

“You said you had multiple plans?”

“Yes, well. When I left this Earth for the first time…I hadn’t accounted for how much you all had come to mean to me until we said our goodbyes and I realized I’d never see you again. I also realized that I was perhaps most sorry about that coffee we never had. But that was really too late for anything.”

“But you never said anything after either.”

There is a small voice inside her that says it’s her, that wants her to believe that he wouldn’t want her after Killer Frost, after she was not the good one anymore. But that voice sounds a lot like Killer Frost, so she ignores it, instead focusing on him, staring into his coffee cup, seemingly pondering something very difficult.

“I…I guess I thought I’d always be the doppelganger. Even when HR came here, and I saw the friendship you developed, I’ve always known that my face is not the first you’ve seen. And which you’ve now seen again. I thought you might not be willing to overlook that.”

A chill runs down Caitlin’s back as she remembers seeing Thawne again, that glimpse she had of his face, of Harry’s face, again.

“It’s one thing to be friendly, to work side by side but I was never a fool. I saw how much pain it cost you all to have me around, in the beginning. I guess I was never quite sure if that was truly in the past. And I didn’t want it to be about him.”

Had she known he was still harbouring this guilt, this burden that’s been unduly placed on him, she would’ve found a way to resolve it very much sooner.

But now is now, so she reaches over the table to take his hand and he lets her, a small surprise evident on his face.

“Harry. I’ve known you weren’t him ever since you stepped foot on this Earth. It’s _never_ been about him.”

He nods, not looking at her but his fingers curl around hers and it’s more than anything he could’ve said because his hands are warm and so alive and she feels hopeful again.

“So. Have we cleared that?”

He smiles and meets her eye now, not letting go of her hand. “I think so.”

She keeps the gaze strong as she lets him have the same truth he’s been so willing to share with her. “I had plans too, before this. But the timing never seemed to quite work out.”

“And now?”

“And now…I’ve decided that timing doesn’t matter. It could be the happiest day of your life and someone could still come and try to ruin it. It could be just a regular day. We really don’t get any guarantees here.”

“Wise words.”

“So you agree?”

He squeezes her hand, gently. “I’ve never agreed with anything more. Everything can change at any moment.”

And then the glass doors of Jitters shatter.


End file.
